I didnt know of or ever heard of this phrase
Until it happened to me in many ways
The end of a marriage of 25 years
The man I once knew giving what he thinks I deserve
Despite the fact I did most of it alone
Despite the fact he was never at home
Despite him cheating on me after 2 months wed
Despite him pushing me downstairs where I hit my head
No concern then for the unborn child
The child I held to my breast day and night
Where he took no part in fact said “I looked a sight”
Yes I did with my sour milk stained bra
My left over tummy from growing our star
How could he look at those cupid lips
Those beautiful eyes and tiny finger tips
Moaned about having to travel to work
Moaned about the car and going so far
Moaned about the wages and families and stuff
In fact moaned about everything including us.
We changed area, he changed his work place
From then our demise became more haste
At first I moaned and moaned for years
Held by his father whilst in floods of tears
Told by his sister to spend more time with me
Told by his father, children growing he should see
Sadly his dad came to an untimely end
Sadly I have also lost almost every friend
What should have I done? Leave when they were young?
Not leave at all, be the burden I had become.
My illness played havoc with my mind
Depression, low self esteem and feeling a bind
I had no purpose, I had no place, I was not attracted
To him, his personality, or his face.
Yet I remember when I loved him for being kind
In Ryton he left those aspects behind
He lost a wife, who he never noticed was there
I lost my home, my parents, my children, my share
I would never have believed I could be punished so hard
So many years without even a birthday card
My father taught God forgives whatever the sin
But of course Dad picked and chose what he believed of him
I now thank my blessings, I found in time you see
The people who would stand by me
Those are the people deserving of Blessings from God
Not those who wave their angry rod.
The old saying What goes around has punished, its been real rough
Your turn will come, dont run to me when the going is tough
Like another in my family I too hold the view
If you dont want me in life, then in death I dont want you.
It is surprising that at least 2 of my ex’s family do write
To me regularly, obviously those with more insight.
When the time comes when those once loved die
Not a tear will I shed from any of my eye.